


Maybe You've Found It

by anightingale



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 15:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8629276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anightingale/pseuds/anightingale
Summary: Set at the end of 2x09. Lucifer struggles with the thought that he may be in love with a certain detective.





	

The elevator door opened and Lucifer walked slowly back into his apartment, the air becoming increasingly stifling with every step he took. He was finding it progressively difficult to breathe normally while his mind raced through the conversation he had had with Doctor Linda again and again.

She couldn’t be right, he reasoned with himself. She was only human. There was no way she could know how he felt, even if she were a trained therapist.

Walking straight over to the bar, he poured himself a drink and downed it in one gulp before immediately pouring another. Pointedly ignoring the clock on the wall that told him it was nearing 8 o’clock, he collapsed onto his black leather couch, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Absentmindedly getting it out, he felt the strangest sensation, as if his heart had leapt up into his throat when he saw it was from the Detective. _I’m here,_ the text simply said. Dinner at the Steakhouse. He’d already called ahead and booked a table before he’d gone to his therapy session, right before his world had been turned upside down.

He put the phone down next to him and leaned against the arm of the couch, trying to work up the courage to face her. The restaurant wasn’t that far from Lux—he could be there, effortlessly composed in ten minutes if he left now. He would only be a little bit late and Chloe would have no reason to think anything was wrong.

Ten minutes passed, and then another ten with him trying to force himself to get up and go to her. He was mildly in shock, he slowly realised, and would have to put on the act of the century to convince Chloe nothing was wrong.

His phone buzzed again with another text from her. _You want me to order you anything?_ Lucifer sighed, staring down at it, before looking at his glass and taking a swig.

 _You can do this,_ Lucifer thought. _Go to her._ The thought was both terrifying and calming, as he wasn’t sure what he would do or how he would act now that he thought he may be—

May be what? _May be in love with her?_ Lucifer shied away from the thought, even if it felt like he had come to the right conclusion. _Preposterous,_ he thought, shaking his head and taking another drink. The Devil didn’t fall in love, it was just Linda’s words messing with his head.

 _“I think you did come to Los Angeles looking for something. But I also think you’ve stopped, because maybe you’ve found it,”_ the Doctor had said to him gently, but matter-of-factly, while Lucifer's world burned before him.

Could she be right? Lucifer swallowed, leaning against his arm heavily as he thought about this. He couldn’t deny that he cared for Chloe—of course he cared for her. She was his friend. But deep down he also knew he couldn’t deny that he cared about her more than he did his other friends…people like Maze, Linda, Ella and— _Father,_ even Dan—were one thing. The Detective was in her own category altogether.

He’d known for so long she was special, in a way that other humans weren’t. She made him mortal, and he couldn’t affect her like he could others. He’d told his Father that he would do anything he wished so long as he protected Chloe.

But… love?

Like the insane people he had had the displeasure of meeting that very day? Watching while they _both_ decided to give everything up instead of doing the logical thing and letting only one of them take the fall?

No, not like that. He would never be as ridiculous as them. He had standards…and a reputation to uphold. He’d never hear the end of it from Maze if he started behaving like a lovestruck idiot.

 _Do you really care about that?_ He thought. Was he really just worried about what _Maze_ would think? Maybe he _was_ afraid of the reaction, not just from her, but from Amenadiel and his mother, too. However, he knew he was more afraid of what it could mean for himself. The prospect of being in love was something he had never had to worry about before, yet with Linda’s words it was right in front of him.

 _I am in denial,_ Lucifer groaned, taking another long drink just as his phone lit up again. _Where are you?_ Chloe asked, and Lucifer could tell she was getting a little annoyed with him for taking so long to arrive. He wanted to apologise, to tell her he was just being held up, but he realised he couldn’t. He didn’t have the strength to go and see her, not tonight. He stared around the darkness of his apartment, accepting this, and tried instead to think of how to apologise to her when he next saw her.

His heart beat faster at the thought. _Great. What is happening to me?_ Linda was going to have a field day with their next session. He didn’t need her to tell him that she was right about this, but he also felt like he needed to hear it spoken out loud.  _You are in love with Chloe,_ he tried to imagine her saying the words, and sighed.

After a considerable amount of time had passed with Lucifer brooding in the dark, thinking about Chloe and about Linda’s words, his phone buzzed again. Casting a quick look at it, he swallowed. _Are you ok?_ Chloe wanted to know.

 _Am I ok?_ Lucifer thought. _No, I'm not ok._ He closed his eyes, picturing the concerned look on Chloe’s face as she sent the text. Concern—for _him_ , the first person to genuinely care about him without him having to do anything in return. He smiled softly at the thought, his mind flashing to her telling him she was his partner, then to when she flew into his arms with no other intention than to simply hug him, and finally today, when she saved his club for him purely because she wanted to.

 _God,_ he thought, rolling his eyes as he thought the word. He _was_ in love with her, wasn’t he? _Fantastic._

The realisation swept across him, and he sank deeper into the couch, trying to ignore it but knowing he couldn’t. He was in love with her. He’d probably been in love with her for a while but hadn’t realised until Linda spelled it out for him. 

What was he going to do? This was not how he expected his day to go, and now he was basically hiding in his apartment instead of facing her. He truly hated that he was disappointing Chloe, especially after their talk at his piano; _friends help each other out,_ he had said, repeating her words back to her. She really deserved a nice evening out with the amount of work she did, and he hoped she was at least making use of this opportunity at the Steakhouse instead of simply waiting around for him. He could think of several things he wished her to try that he knew she would love right off the top of his head.

His phone buzzed a final time, half an hour later, and Lucifer looked warily down at it. _Fine, I’m heading home._ Lucifer ran his eyes over the words a few times before reaching down and flipping the phone over. He didn’t want the words to stare up at him anymore, as he already felt guilty enough. 

 _I'm sorry, Chloe,_ he wanted to say. He wanted to call her and tell her he would meet her at her apartment and he would make them something out of whatever he could find in her embarrassingly bare pantry. He wanted to see the look of relief on her face when she saw he hadn't just disappeared and purposely stood her up. But he couldn't. Not tonight. He needed some time process the fact he was in love with her, because he had no idea what he would do if he saw her right at that moment, with a hurt expression on her beautiful face, put there because of him.

 _Well that's a lie,_ Lucifer thought. He knew exactly what he would want to do. He would want to pull her close and kiss that look right off her face the minute he saw her.

Shuddering, he finished his drink and put it to one side, before getting up and striding over to where he kept his little black book. He'd drown himself in other women tonight—all physical, no feelings involved. He'd also try not to think about the fact that not one of them could hold a candle to Chloe.

**Author's Note:**

> This episode was just so beautiful and I've been impatiently waiting for others to write fic based on it, so I wrote this to satisfy my own needs. I would be more surprised that Lucifer is in love with Chloe but we've all known for 84 years that he is, and it's just simply been killing me more and more as the season goes on, oh my god.
> 
> I cannot WAIT for the next episode and all the angst we are bound to see, aaaaahhhhh~


End file.
